The Funny Side of Small Businesses: Small Business Jokes

fake-businessmanWith the weekend approaching and Cinco de Mayo right around the corner, what better way to prep for the weekend than some jokes.

What? Small businesses need to have a sense of humor or else they’re in for a very rude awakening when it comes to dealing with the public.

For copywriters:

  • An SEO copywriter walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house, Irish, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor…
  • An advertising team is working late at night on a project that is due the next morning. Suddenly, a Genie appears before them and offers to each of them one wish.The copywriter says: “I’ve always dreamed of writing the great American novel and I’d like to go to a tropical island where I can concentrate and write my masterpiece.”The Genie says, “No problem!” Then poof…the copywriter is gone.The art director says: “I want to create a painting so beautiful that it would hang in the Louvre Museum in Paris. I want to go to the French countryside to work on my painting.”The Genie says, “Your wish is granted!” Then poof…the art director is gone.The Genie then turns to the account executive and says, “And what is your wish?”

    The account executive says, “I want those two assholes back here right now! We’ve got work to do!”

For Graphic Designers:

A stock photo walks into a bar, and the patrons start pointing and giggling. She looks at the bartender and says, “Why’s everyone staring?”

The bartender says “Because your ALT tag is showing.”

For Marketers:

  • Q: How many marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
  • A: It isn’t too late to make this neon instead, is it?

A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem.

The software manager says: “I can’t do anything about this – it’s a hardware problem.”

The hardware manager says: “Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself.”
The marketing manager says: “Hey, 75% of it is working – let’s ship it!”

For Small Business Owners:

At the end of a job interview, the human resources employee for a small business asked a young man straight out of college: “And what starting salary were you looking for? “

The young man said, “In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year with a great benefits package. “

The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks’ vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Corvette? “

The young man up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding? “

The interviewer replied, “Yes. But you started it.”

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