Thanksgiving Branding Ideas That Never Were

zazzle-is-selling-this-jigsaw-puzzle-for-3035-online-the-bizarre-online-description-eA late Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Being a holiday, we thought it might be an opportune time to have some fun with branding and the holiday where most Americans stuff their face to the point of bursting.

So here’s a question…if branding had have been an issue what back when the Pilgrims and the Native Americans shared the first Thanksgiving, what do you think some of their slogans and approaches might have been?

We thought it might look something like this.

From the Pilgrim’s Perspective

There was no social media around, or not even a landline for that matter, so there was really no way of them to announce their arrival to those already living on the land that they had “discovered.” Therefore, we imagine that they were all smiles and trying their warm-up speeches and pitches. Perhaps they would have used openers such as:

  • Our guns are more accurate than your arrows, so let us teach you the ways of guns
  • Look at our fancy clothes. How are you not impressed?
  • These vast boats of ours have come across the endless oceans!
  • We promise, we’ll just stay here on this coast while you have all of that land over there for your families.

From the Native Americans’ Perspective

Who were these new people that were trying to sneak in and encroach on their land, anyway? And now they want to have this huge feast together? Something seems sort of fishy, but let’s not automatically jump to conclusions. Surely in the future, we’ll be good friends and our future generations will be abundant among these great people.

  • Your guns load much slower than my bow so no thank you.
  • Less clothes means less laundry. Also, what’s up with those ridiculous shoes?
  • Nice clunky boat you have there; check out how fast I can run.
  • But we were here first…

Add in to the fun. How do you think the slogans and catchphrases might have gone down during the first Thanksgiving?

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